Only In My L.A.

I saw this sign promoting a flower store on my way home from work today that said “Get Your Sexy Artificial Flowers”.

“Sexy” artificial flowers? I’m sorry? Come again?

It was the perfect “only in my LA” moment. I mean seriously, are you ever going to see that sign anywhere else in the whole entire world? Nope. Only in my LA.

Us Angelenos have officially taken the obsession with all things sexy to the next level. Our little five year old girls run around with their fake purses having fake relationships with their 3rd grade boyfriends and talking on their cell phones. “He’s a lot older, so I don’t have to deal with all the BS, you know what I mean? I just don’t have the patience for that anymore.”

Not everything has to be sexy Los Angeles. It’s okay if the flowers are not sexy. Really.

Could artificial flowers be any less sexy anyway? Maybe if they were real, they might have a natural appeal that could maybe be construed as some sort of unintended sexiness, but fake dusty waxed cloth things doubling as bounty from our Earth? Not so much.

Think it through carefully my LA. If we keep overusing the term “sexy”, it could begin to lose its meaning. Remember what happened to has-beens like “rad”, “bitchen” & “dude”? We don’t want a repeat of those fiascos. Like, “sexy”, like totally can’t go out like that.