Only In My L.A.

So I recognized a familiar face when I went to the Urth Cafe on Melrose Friday night. Mrs. Paltrow. Gwenyth’s mom. Blythe Danner to be exact. Just casually having a spo’ of tea with a girlfriend. Which is exactly what I was doing, only it seems much more acceptable for a 60-something woman to be partaking in that activity than a 30-ish young thing like myself. But that’s beside the point.

To add to the rush that I always get anytime I see a star, Blythe Danner was staring at me! How exciting. A famous person staring at me like I’m the one who’s famous. I guess she switched the rules in her head as to who should be staring at who. Got a little mixed up, did we? I think it was the red glasses I was sporting. They’re ‘differn’, as my friend from Minnesota pronounces the word ‘different’. And ‘differn’ is always new and exciting.

Apparently at The Urth Cafe there’s an “unspoken rule” (an unposted rule too, I might add), that you have to order your food and get a number before you can sit down. Which I learned the hard way while saving a table as my friend ordered for us. A couple walked over to me and the woman said nastily, “I saw this table while I was in line.” I was like “And…..”. (Because, I’m sorry, but there had better be more to it than that, of that much I’m sure.)

I’m a very non-confrontational person, but even I draw the line somewhere. You can’t “call the table in your head” and expect me to adhere to that. She basically “called shotgun for life” like Will Farell in Blades of Glory. The nerve. The rules of “Dibs” clearly state otherwise. I wanted to refer her to Wikipedia. Because the Wiki is always right. And the Wiki clearly states that “the system of Dibs operates mostly on a first-come, first-serve basis”. There you have it lady. You snooze, you lose.

What shocks me just as much though, is that someone actually wrote entire pages for Wikipedia on “Dibs” and “Calling Shotgun“. With an encyclopedic eye no less. Thanks to the Information Superhighway, we now have written words to refer to when questions about “Dibs” and “Calling Shotgun” occur. For the first time in our history. Who says we as a people aren’t advancing?