Only In My L.A.

I just can’t get enough of the star sightings. There I was, innocently going to Literati Cafe on my lunch break, and who’s right there beside me?  Marcia Cross.   Apparently I’ve run out of stars to see and now have to repeat celebrities, since I’ve already seen her on Rodeo Drive last year.

I was already alerted to the possibility of a ’supastah’ being inside because of the beautiful extremely expensive car in the parking lot, not to mention the paparazzi swinging from the trees, but still, exciting nonetheless.  I DID want to see a new one though.   Marcia Cross?  Been there, done that.  I don’t like to watch movies over and over again, and my stars are the same way.

She’s very beautiful though.  Very skinny and small. Striking. But. Why does there always have to be a ‘but’?  But there is.  All I’m asking is that can some star any star that I see please be aging gracefully and happily? When I saw Nicollette Sheridian at Taverna Tony’s she was still very pretty, ‘but’ the plastic surgery was just too much. Lips: too much. Lack of wrinkles: too much. It seems Marcia Cross has taken the same route. Why does plastic surgery have to abound?

So here’s a little tip for those just visiting or still new to the LA star scene: When you look at a woman’s face but can’t tell how old she is as there’s nair a wrinkle to be seen, she’s had a lil sum’in sum’in done in the face.

And I take that back what I said earlier. When I saw Courtney Thorne-Smith at the Brentwood Whole Foods, she looked plastic surgery free. So they ARE out there.  Far and few between, but they exist.  Thanks for restoring the faith Courtney, thank you.

Spotted: A 50-something grown normal-looking man openly reading “Dating, Mating and Manhandling” in public at the Urth Cafe on Melrose. I mean, I know these books get read, I’m sure I have a stash of “Why Men Marry Bitches” and dating books by Dr. Phil on love myself, but do I read them in plain sight of cafe-goers? Negative.

At least take the jacket off! He even left the book cover-side up for a while while he ordered more food. I was even able to see cover details, my favorite being the author’s title: Lauren Frances, P.h. Double D.

That’s how we do it in my L.A. though. Put everything out there for the world to see. Boobs, bling and apparently books too.  Everything gets put on display for public consumption.

So I recognized a familiar face when I went to the Urth Cafe on Melrose Friday night. Mrs. Paltrow. Gwenyth’s mom. Blythe Danner to be exact. Just casually having a spo’ of tea with a girlfriend. Which is exactly what I was doing, only it seems much more acceptable for a 60-something woman to be partaking in that activity than a 30-ish young thing like myself. But that’s beside the point.

To add to the rush that I always get anytime I see a star, Blythe Danner was staring at me! How exciting. A famous person staring at me like I’m the one who’s famous. I guess she switched the rules in her head as to who should be staring at who. Got a little mixed up, did we? I think it was the red glasses I was sporting. They’re ‘differn’, as my friend from Minnesota pronounces the word ‘different’. And ‘differn’ is always new and exciting.

Apparently at The Urth Cafe there’s an “unspoken rule” (an unposted rule too, I might add), that you have to order your food and get a number before you can sit down. Which I learned the hard way while saving a table as my friend ordered for us. A couple walked over to me and the woman said nastily, “I saw this table while I was in line.” I was like “And…..”. (Because, I’m sorry, but there had better be more to it than that, of that much I’m sure.)

I’m a very non-confrontational person, but even I draw the line somewhere. You can’t “call the table in your head” and expect me to adhere to that. She basically “called shotgun for life” like Will Farell in Blades of Glory. The nerve. The rules of “Dibs” clearly state otherwise. I wanted to refer her to Wikipedia. Because the Wiki is always right. And the Wiki clearly states that “the system of Dibs operates mostly on a first-come, first-serve basis”. There you have it lady. You snooze, you lose.

What shocks me just as much though, is that someone actually wrote entire pages for Wikipedia on “Dibs” and “Calling Shotgun“. With an encyclopedic eye no less. Thanks to the Information Superhighway, we now have written words to refer to when questions about “Dibs” and “Calling Shotgun” occur. For the first time in our history. Who says we as a people aren’t advancing?