Only In My L.A.

Just saw an a ‘gotta be at least 70 probably pushing 80′ woman crossing the street in a miniskirt, tights and high heels. Hair and makeup did too. She wasn’t crazy either, just dressed to the hilt. Somehow I just don’t think you’d see that in the rest of America, I really don’t.

But who am I to talk, seeing as I’m wearing jeans, a t shirt and sneakers today. I need to get myself together!    80 year olds out dressing you means you have a problem that needs to be addressed.

Did I seriously just wait in traffic for a half an hour IN THE WHOLE FOODS parking lot? Unbelieveable. Los Angeles, we need to work on your car problem.

Here is a picture of traffic in Los Angeles in 1972. I guess the more things change, the more they stay the same.

I just can’t get enough of the star sightings. There I was, innocently going to Literati Cafe on my lunch break, and who’s right there beside me?  Marcia Cross.   Apparently I’ve run out of stars to see and now have to repeat celebrities, since I’ve already seen her on Rodeo Drive last year.

I was already alerted to the possibility of a ’supastah’ being inside because of the beautiful extremely expensive car in the parking lot, not to mention the paparazzi swinging from the trees, but still, exciting nonetheless.  I DID want to see a new one though.   Marcia Cross?  Been there, done that.  I don’t like to watch movies over and over again, and my stars are the same way.

She’s very beautiful though.  Very skinny and small. Striking. But. Why does there always have to be a ‘but’?  But there is.  All I’m asking is that can some star any star that I see please be aging gracefully and happily? When I saw Nicollette Sheridian at Taverna Tony’s she was still very pretty, ‘but’ the plastic surgery was just too much. Lips: too much. Lack of wrinkles: too much. It seems Marcia Cross has taken the same route. Why does plastic surgery have to abound?

So here’s a little tip for those just visiting or still new to the LA star scene: When you look at a woman’s face but can’t tell how old she is as there’s nair a wrinkle to be seen, she’s had a lil sum’in sum’in done in the face.

And I take that back what I said earlier. When I saw Courtney Thorne-Smith at the Brentwood Whole Foods, she looked plastic surgery free. So they ARE out there.  Far and few between, but they exist.  Thanks for restoring the faith Courtney, thank you.

Spotted: A 50-something grown normal-looking man openly reading “Dating, Mating and Manhandling” in public at the Urth Cafe on Melrose. I mean, I know these books get read, I’m sure I have a stash of “Why Men Marry Bitches” and dating books by Dr. Phil on love myself, but do I read them in plain sight of cafe-goers? Negative.

At least take the jacket off! He even left the book cover-side up for a while while he ordered more food. I was even able to see cover details, my favorite being the author’s title: Lauren Frances, P.h. Double D.

That’s how we do it in my L.A. though. Put everything out there for the world to see. Boobs, bling and apparently books too.  Everything gets put on display for public consumption.

Did I somehow move to New York without my knowledge? It’s freezing!!!!! For you people outside of LA, that means 60 degrees. Positively frigid if you ask me.

Today, my friend called us Chanukahs. She said, “Oh, the guy who came over and put up my drapes was a Chanukah, just like you.”

I didn’t take it personal though. Anything goes in L.A. It’s all kosher.

Overheard at the Whole Foods in Brentwood the night before Thanksgiving by a gay man in a huff:

“Are these seriously my butter options?  Where’s my cultured European butter?”

We sure are demanding all right.  Us Angelenos want it right here right now.  Even when it comes to our cultured European butter.

Ahhh, my Los Angeles. Only in My LA will two people (one of them being me) have a conversation for a good 5 minutes about whether or not Hawaii is a state. “I’m almost positive it’s a commonwealth like Puerto Rico.” “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

Guess we were just off in LaLa Land (literally) during Geography class.  Surely you understand.

Even once in a while, something amazing comes out of LA that makes me proud be an Angeleno.

John West is one of those things.

Even though we got him from Louisiana, he’s ours now.

…….. is so good, I really didn’t expect it to be. Really, really good.  Right up there with La Serenata, La Loteria and King Taco.

And please get your mind out of the gutter people. I’m honestly talking about the food at Pink Taco.  The Pink Taco in the Century City mall to be exact. Although, to be fair, it IS a common mistake, since as Wikipedia so eloquently points out, the name is also “a slang term for a human vagina.” And not just any ole vagina either, but an actual real live human one.

But let’s get back to business. Delicious Mexican food. One of my favorite topics. Pink Taco’s carne asada tacos are delish, the guacamole is the bomb diggy, and hasta las ensaladas son bien bueno. The happy hour ain’t too shabby either, or the “feliz hora” I guess I should say (in the spirit of ‘keepin it real’.) I recommend it. Odale pinche cabrones.  Cono